It truly puts a damper on the dawn when you get a call at 5 something in the am, mid sleep. But what is worse is the fact that it is from a lonely old woman who sits handicapped in her apartment building, delusional. She sees women in scarves smoking outside of her window. Her knees, swollen, the size of grapefruits, her legs and feet swollen as well. It is a sad site to see. The thought of her lonesome rings even sadder in realizing no one is there to help her get out of bed. No one is there to lift her up when she falls. She is living alone when she shouldn’t be and that is the saddest part. I remember telling my mom that it just doesn’t make sense that she is alone. Then I think to myself, would I be willing to end her lonesome. I am not all I am cracked up to be. I don’t think I would have the heart or the strength to live with her and take care of her. It’s easier said than done and I have seen the amount of work it takes. It is a true test of if this desire I have to be selfless is real, it is a humbling experience to let me know that I am not there yet. I still have some growing to do. I have more of life to experience.